Before I Go

I would like to thank my Querida, my Anne, for being there when I really, really needed her (well, everyday). Thanks, Q. I know that she's useless when it comes to calming people down and massaging her sick friends (yes, I read your blog, querida) but she did try to massage me last week and I think her attempt was really good. Although I could see that she was obviously freaking out when I almost barfed. After my Q comes the magnificent Dye. Haha, she's magnificent really. She never fail to make us (Q & I) laugh, every single day. Plus, she's straight as a ruler, because she believes everything. And she knows everything that's happening around us. But (I swear to God this is stupid), she doesn't know what Super Mario is. Ugh, thanks, anyway, Dye.


There are several others who are as much important as those two, but I really need to stop now. I need to get ready for the tuition. I love you all equally. A lot.


About the title, no fuss, but I didn't mean GO as in DIE. I meant GO as in going to that cute tuition centre. Cute, seriously. Oh, if I'm fated to die tonight. Forgive me. Pray for me. Estoy enamorado de ti.

I need a break, please?

Things are getting harder and harder to face every stinking day. 


I wish time would stop. But I think that is one of the most foolish wishes ever made. Like, hello? We cannot just freeze time. Duh~


Hmm. SPM will be around the corner soon. Oh no no no, it's not around the corner yet. Nay, not yet. 


By the way, fellas, Happy Twenty Eleven :) Blessed be.


This year it's all about being 17. Uhuh.


Big, fat seventeen.

Sincerity

"I'm sorry," he says.

When your boy says that, it sounds bitter to you, am I right? Well, sometimes, when boys speak, girls can detect insincerities. Girls are very sensitive. A slight touch can turn them on. That works the same way when boys lie to them, or even just ignore them for a while. They will get hurt, inside out.

I've heard so many sorry's before that I am actually sick of it. That's why I don't listen to sorry's, because I'm not good at forgetting. I can forgive, but never forget. When he wronged me, I cried. Yes, AH did something that I can never forget. That was the first time I ever cried because of a guy. He said sorry so many times but I ignored him. Well, not completely, though. Because eventually, I'd found my way back to him.

Nowadays, when guys confess their feelings to me, I'll feel really, really numb. Numb because I don't know what to say so they won't be hurt. Numb because I'll always compare them with AH. 

I just want to say that, if you're a boy, and you're reading this, please be nice to your girl. 

To ones who made their confessions, if you could sing and dance and pull cool expressions onto your face like Kim Hyun Joong, then buzz me. I'll be waiting. Lol.

This is for you, m'dear. You asked for this.

Depressed

I had a chat with Abang just now. 


Now, he's another person I'm jealous of despite the fact that he is my cousin. He's one lucky Eurasian, you know. He gets to go wherever he like. Money's always in his back pocket. And he's a genius too. A petroleum engineer in the making. 


He said he'll be in Malaysia during summer next year. "I'll be there 'til you don't want me anymore," he said. That's just ridiculous. We're all missing you much, Abang (and the rest). 


He wanted me to come to Ireland, too. See? 


Everyone wants me to go there. To pursue my greatest ambition yet. A doctor- a cardiologist, to be specific. It's tough people. I'm simply lack of confidence. My family, the whole members of the family, put their trust and hope upon me and Adnan. Adnan is okay I guess. He doesn't study but he always do well in his exams. But me, I'm another different case. Now this case is closed.


Be nice.

[FC2] Kim Hyun Joong (SS501) - Please Be Nice to Me @ DK Party

[GBYJH] Kim Hyun Joong (SS501) - Please Be Nice to Me

BE NICE

Please Be Nice To Me - Kim Hyun Joong

They've worked so hard and they made it. Some went to Cairo, Egypt, some went to India, some went to Dublin, Ireland. Truthfully, I'm jealous of them. They can at least see their future, since they're in the best universities. 

I still have one year left. One toughest year of Malaysian high school. We are going to sit for our SPM exams next November. SPM scares the hell outta me. SPM is our turning point. After SPM we have not much time to play or hang around with friends. We'll be busy looking for a spot in a university. We'll be painting our own future. We'll go different paths. We'll speak different jargons. We'll learn different things. We'll meet different races.

I have different ambitions. First, I wanna go to Dublin, Ireland. I heard the med-school is the best. So, I wanna be a professional doctor. Pray for me. Second, I wanna be a pharmacist, and I must go study abroad. Pray for me. Third, I just wanna be in UIA or USM. Pray for me. If not, I'll be a writer. Like J.K Rowling and Jane Austen. Pray for me.

But my priority is to become a doctor. I love human anatomy. My Dad wants me to become a doctor. My Mum said she'll be happy if I am. The teachers want each and every one of us to do our best. My grandparents want me to study in Ireland or India.

I have too much great expectations when I only have two shoulders and two brains to carry on.

SPM is months away and I'm so not ready. Will I ever be? Right now I'm such a pessimist that I hate myself to the point of suicidal. I have eleven freakin' subjects to revise in 10 months. Not only that, next year, I'll be burdened with homeworks and drills. 

Never-ending rants, I say.

Just pray for me people. Pray for me to become a great doctor and I'll treat you, your sons and daughters with the best treatment you could get. Okay? Thanks in advance.

I'll be nice.