For Him and for Him only.

Assalamualaikum.

Life gets harder everyday, eh? Well, for me, yeah, it does gets hella hard each day. SPM coming up, fellas. After SPM I'll do whatever I want with my life. Probably give writing a shot. Tee hee.

Today, I had to endure two English papers, two stinking fingers-blistering essays. Mom, can you please tell the teachers I don't wanna sit for the exams? Hahaha, no thanks, Mom. I think I'll give it a shot. We must try, right?

Back to the main topic. I wanna change. For Him and for Him only. It's Ramadan, people. The fasting month. Shouldn't we try to change for the better us? I am trying. Trying haaaard. I'm getting busy each minute.

Gahhhh, I gotta go. Need to revise History for tomorrow. Don't forget to pray.

Love,

Amyra

Syamsul Yusof. He made me proud. One of the best young director.

I'm pissed :/

"... I'm comin' down to where you're standin'
I need you now
Or you'll be watchin' me hit the ground
With a crash landin'..." - The Click Five, Don't Let Me Go

The following swears and rants will be written fully in Malay (Sarawak) Language. So if you couldn't understand any of 'em, ignore. 

Here we go.

Salam.

Fes, aku nang sik lah pande nak ngerepak lam BM Sarawak, tapi nak, kotan palak ku dah serabut tahap gaban camtok, ney lah nak molah. TERPAKSA bah. Gikpun ku rasa, ngerepak k bahasa ku mpun tok lbeh 'straight forward' bah.

Banyak bis masalah kin ari, sumpah. Yang paling aku sak ati eh, kawan-kawan aku ilek jak madah aku ada affair ngan sorang miak tok. Ada yang madah hubungan mekrang (aku ngan miak ya tek lah) lbeh dari yang di declare. Gila nak? Aok nang, aku syg nya gilak2. Syg bis ku ngan nya, tapi nya as good as a brother to me bah. Apalah gunanya kawan mun aku sik madah aku b'gerek. Mun sikda cer, sikda gerek la ti nya. Gkpun, malas do aku nak 'in a relationship' ngan org. Susah jaga ati org yg surely akan break our heart. Aritok tek sik ku nego nya koh, sian  ngan nya- nya senyum pas lelah brekot tek, aku buat deeeeek jak. Polah siktauk, mcm sik kenal eh. Rasa b'salah ada juak. Siau. Aku siktauk gik apa nak polah. Aku perlukan masa k pike mena mena apa mok polah. Mun aku btego ngan nya lak, tauk da suara2 sumbang, mun sik, tauk da perubahan air muka. Shet. Gne oh? Tadik aku mok gilak berik semangat, pdh gudluck and congrats pa suma, tapi ngenang teori org aku rasa cuak. Cuak sebab nama bait aku juak bah jaik kelak. Kenak nya sik mun kita digelar kenjet pa suma nak? Eeeee, aku stress, puas aku mikey lam tadik, aku rasa sikboh jaklah aku btego ngan nya. Smpe bila aku siktauk. Buat2 bahagia jak lah. Ada gk yg best. Ada yg mdh nya mcm suka aku- dari cara nya layan aku, nmpak glak, konon nya tek. Ish, sukati nya lah nya mok layan aku gne. Seronok bah, yahh. Ada pihak yg mengatakan bahawa (cehhh~) aku suka nya. Hey, tolong sikit. Aku siktauk eh. Yg aku tauk, mun aku suka nya Pilot cne ku mok ngkah. Nakka lelah lamak2 tok aku squeal2 and giggle2 bila nya balit Kch? Sik phm. Tapi, utk mengelakkan mereka m'buat fitnah, saya surrender lah ye. For the greater good, bak kata A.P.W.B.D nak nak? Tapi nya siktauk ku sikmok tego nya. Hehe. Biar lah. Mudahan nya sik lalek ngan aku lok. xD Bodo bis permintaan ya eh. 

Oi2, mun kitak pande ter-rajin ter-baca benda tok, sorry kay? Bukan nya mek maok pun jadi camtok :/ Sorry dear.

K, hal seterusnya. Ada seorang hamba Allah tok, nyaman jak nya nganok aku bitch. Sik cukup ngan ya, semua ompuan TunAZ dipdh nya bitch, tegal aku reject nya 3 kali. 3 kali jak pun. Azman H ku reject 11 kali, sikda nya manas <3 Gila nak? Kkya mala kol aku, madah nya, to use his words, syg aku la, rndu la. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT sik alang2 ehh. Maka aku sik kenal nya, cne nya oleh number aku pun ndak ku tauk. Eh jap, ada nya madah. Nya madah nya tekan2 alu kenak number aku. BABI kali nya ya. Ish, palak ku dah serabut hal tok riya, pnde teringat hal atas nun. Nok ku pdh tadik ya bah. Lamak dah org gossip2 and fitnah2 bnda ya tapi aku polah sik tauk jak. Tapi tahun tok aku mcm over sensitive jak. Ckit2 nak kecik ati, apasak ka. Ndak ku mok tauk eh.

K dah bye. Ku mok mandik :)

Oh and to you, I'm so sorry. Iloveyou.

I Need Some Confidence

I know when it comes to exams (especially big ones), I'm the least confident. That is why I'm always depressed and stressed out. My Mom always said that there's no such thing as depressions if you are able to cope up with everything. My Daddy told me that I just needed to improve my time management if I want to get good grades. This coming exam, SPM, to use Afiq's words, is the most important because it is like, a ticket to every golden opportunity in our blurred future. Or so he said. I edited his words a bit. *innocent smile*

I'm aiming for at least 8A+ out of eleven subjects. Pray for me peeps.


 

Down To Earth, Live @ Madison Square Garden

This is the video of Justin singing Down To Earth at Madison Square Garden. I love his voice here, it's deep, unlike the studio version of this song. Oh, I do not own this video, I got it from You Tube. So don't go arresting me or anything. LOL. FYI, this clip is from the movie Never Say Never :) Enjoy it.

I Don't Understand Why

"I never thought that it'd be easy, 'cause we both so distant now. And the walls are closing in on us, and we're wondering how. No one has a solid answer..." - Down To Earth, Justin Bieber

Don't ask why I wrote that one out. That song is stuck inside my head and I think the words are very beautiful. It makes me feel like crying. Listening to that voice of his, and the way he sings it, it just reminds of someone. That someone was not a singer- he couldn't even sing. It's just that, this song reminds me of him. I don't understand why but the moment Justin opens his mouth to sing those words, the first picture that pops into my head is... us. Always. Err... not Justin and I. Gosh, that would be like, super idiotic and vain of me. It's A.H and I. God, I miss him. And I love him to bits. I'm moving on, but sometimes, my thoughts are still on him and I cannot help comparing these boys that I have to endure with him. Oh how I wish 4th of April 2010 never existed. Al-Fatihah.

I'm OBSESSED, Obviously

Dougie Lee Poynter

 

 

I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS MAN.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND. BECAUSE HE'S ALL MINE! 

Oh how I wish. That would be like, a dream come true, wouldn't it? Yum~ :}

It's Always Him

Look at the picture. Oh ain't my Dougie Lee Poynter ah-dorable? I love him. Always. No matter how high is my Bieber Fever right now, when you mention his name, I would squeal and my heart would feel like bursting. And my cheeks will be cramped from smiling slash grinning slash giggling so hard. HE is the one and only, my celebrity crush.

But, he went into rehab, the godforsaken rehab because he suffered a hell of a lot after breaking up with Frankie, one of The Saturdays. Ugh. I watched McFly On The Wall, first episode, I waited for Doug. But he didn't appear on my screen. WHY? Because he was trying to recover. Poor, poor Doug.

Oh the picture up there, he is he, DOUGIE. The light that feeds the sun in my world. Yep, him.

A Day

Hello. It's been a while now, eh? Update, update, update.

First of all, I wanna tell you something. Please, stay calm. I am now a fan of JB. Oh you know him, the purple ninja. The one with the hair that makes girls go crazy- all over the world. Yeah, that's the one. The one that goes "Baby, baby, baby, oh ohhh~" and people hate him for no fucking good reason at all. Oh well, fuck the haters. 

Next, my cousins. Yeah, they're killing. All of them. Including those two in England. Oh when are they coming back here? I heard Hafa (his nickname) is bringing some friends over. And Aaron, too. The house will surely be extra crowded this month. Or next month.

Grr. That's the problem, Hafa won't tell me when they're coming! Just now, we kinda made a deal, he tells me the exact date and he doesn't have to bring me presents from the UK. Or, he shuts up about the mysterious date and bring me whatever I want. I chose the first deal and he told me they'll be here on July 27th. But that's a total lie, I protested. He told me he'd come with me, to the Spring, to watch Harry Potter 7 Part 2. The premiere. Oh my god, the very last. 

After Hafa, there's this little guy, Arfan. He is such a cute... monster. Tee hee. He eats everything and he cries when I carry him! How unfair! Everyone in the house gets to carry him without his screams and everything. Everyone except me.

And then Farida. My lazy and yet favourite cousin. I wanted her to accompany me to the library today but she refused to, saying she's lazy as an excuse. Oh so lame. I just wanted to send something to Ammierul and then go back home. Ugh. But it turned out that Ammierul canceled his plan. Nice.

Whoa, it's half past midnight. I just need to write more. So, for a start, how's my writing?

I so wanna watch this.

I wanna watch

Tsk tsk it's been a year without him :(

Fourth of April 2011, the very day I hoped I would've never endured, but I did. I did it, very badly. Last night I promised myself that I wouldn't cry today but I did. Azman Shah, do rest in piece please. Al-Fatihah.

*crying, again***

P/s: Thanks to Anne, my Querida, for lending me her tiny (no offense, Q) to be hugged. Hee

I love you :D

I have loads to tell

Peace be upon you, my friends.

I'm currently depressed and stressed out. Oh well, tell me when I'm not. This year seems to drive me - and the others, of course- nuts. Err, nutter than usual. Crazier, and crazier each stinking, tiring day. I feel like I cannot hold on any longer, like I am already lying flat on the ground and can't rise ever again. But actually I'm not because I know I'm still breathing and walking and running and laughing and crying and... fighting. I can never give up. Not when I'm halfway through this mess. Not exactly messy, let me tell you.

My daddy seems to be pushing me and my brother too hard. Harder that he actually does, to tell ya the truth. Being me, I'm always the most stubborn, damned stubborn and more stubborn in the family. And I'm also super ignorant when people complain about myself. I hate it. I have my own life and let me live it the way I want it to be lived. Gawd, is that so hard to understand. Or am I portraying it ever so badly? So tell me, already.

Guys.

They're always coming in and out of my life. Shit, shit, shit. First, there's this classmate of mine, and he's also my best friend. How can I tell him my actual feelings and not break his heart? Aw, c'mon fellas, I wanna live my own life, too. I'm exhausted, tired of taking care of others' heart while no one cares about mine. Ew, that's pretty mushy, no? Hahahahahahaha. But seriously.

I want a pilot, and a particular pilot. Not a soon-to-be engineer. Pretty please?

T.T

Friday...

Hmm. Last Friday was exhausting and exceptionally extraordinary. I, hereby wanna thank my Q for bearing with me throughout the cross-country event. She could've finished the marathon earlier if she wasn't busy worrying about my fragile health condition. Thank thanks thanks and another million thank you's to you, Querida. I love you.

Done.

It's 16th of March

Hello...


First of all, I wanna wish Amirul a very happy, crazy and awesome fifteenth birthday. You're quiet old, m'dear. Hehehe~


Second, I want to tell my friends, if you guys are willing to read this, that my homeworks are not done yet. I. Need. Help. Gawd, I'm tired. T.T


That's all for this piece. Later, dudes.

Good Girl :)

When you start to judge others blindly, you'll eventually become narrow-minded. Or, maybe, you are actually being narrow-minded without noticing it. And when you listen to one-sided stories, you are fooling yourself. Seriously, I'm surrounded with people like these, and I myself at times become one of them. Writing as a so-called good girl, I hate people who judge others with their heart closed. And I hate people who say one thing and act another. Please, please, I've had enough.


Uh oh, my chest is burning- again. Gotta go fellas :)


Je'taime.

Muscle Inflammation? Myositis.

Ouch.


Not to be confused with meiosis, mitosis, or myosotis, fellas.


Grr. To tell the truth, muscle inflammation hurts like hell. Well, not exactly, but it does hurt. And because of that, I couldn't go to school. Hmm. I've missed a lot of unusual, wonderful things, I guess.

Before I Go

I would like to thank my Querida, my Anne, for being there when I really, really needed her (well, everyday). Thanks, Q. I know that she's useless when it comes to calming people down and massaging her sick friends (yes, I read your blog, querida) but she did try to massage me last week and I think her attempt was really good. Although I could see that she was obviously freaking out when I almost barfed. After my Q comes the magnificent Dye. Haha, she's magnificent really. She never fail to make us (Q & I) laugh, every single day. Plus, she's straight as a ruler, because she believes everything. And she knows everything that's happening around us. But (I swear to God this is stupid), she doesn't know what Super Mario is. Ugh, thanks, anyway, Dye.


There are several others who are as much important as those two, but I really need to stop now. I need to get ready for the tuition. I love you all equally. A lot.


About the title, no fuss, but I didn't mean GO as in DIE. I meant GO as in going to that cute tuition centre. Cute, seriously. Oh, if I'm fated to die tonight. Forgive me. Pray for me. Estoy enamorado de ti.

I need a break, please?

Things are getting harder and harder to face every stinking day. 


I wish time would stop. But I think that is one of the most foolish wishes ever made. Like, hello? We cannot just freeze time. Duh~


Hmm. SPM will be around the corner soon. Oh no no no, it's not around the corner yet. Nay, not yet. 


By the way, fellas, Happy Twenty Eleven :) Blessed be.


This year it's all about being 17. Uhuh.


Big, fat seventeen.